I tried to feel my heart,to find it,but

I was lost inside my own body.

I couldn't feel the things

I should, and nothing felt in the right place.

~ Jacob Black ,; Breaking Dawn

Do the Hellen Keller & walk with your hips

So I have been noticing a lot of stuff lately.
My mom has no money what so ever.
I have been calling in lately so that I could
babysit. I have no money. My brother
is going to start college and still haven't changed
his abusive ways. I just want to go away from all
of this. I just can not understand why God hasn't
answered our prayers. Is this supposed to happen?
I hate blaming him, but I kinda have no one else to blame.



I can't even stand to see my mother with no money. Last night
we went to Walgreen's she couldn't even buy a gallon of water.
We are so damn poor that my mother asked me for $200 dollars
and she asked me to make an account to take out about $700 dollars
for this guy who she cleans there house. She said she would help me pay it
but how?? She doesn't even have a job. I don't want to keep going through
this. I just don't.



Well TTFN

I hate him for making me think this way.

Lately, I have been down. My ex-boyfriend

decided to brake up with me because we weren't

"working out" but he doesn't know that

I know why we weren't working out.

It really pisses me off because he made me happy, I haven't

been as happy with a guy since I broke with Curtis

and Wow Curtis made me happy.

He is the type of guy

I am looking for but ever since

I broke up with him nothing has been right.

I still think, dream,

talk about him and I bet he doesn't

do any of that about me.

I just wish that he could notice that I really still do love him--

I mean really do love him. We both

would talk about how we would

get married and have children but

apparently I was a waste to him.

I broke up with him really because

I never got to see him at all

and it was either see him or not see him at all.

I told his sister (my best friend) that I do still love him.

I hope she tells him so that we could start talking again,

like we used to. He was my true best friend. urgg.

School is out and my mother moved back in with me.

I have nothing else that is new.

So Summer 2009 here I come :)

TTFN,Chantel

Thursaday ~ What a day

Soo simply I can not wait for school to finish.

I truly just want it to end !!

I have been good lately & I hope to Jesus above that

he helps me pass my finals :) please ?

Although, I have been in drama lately & its not

going so pretty. Why is it when Im finally happy

something always has to go wrong ? >=(

But the boy I used to like is single, when I'm not.

Could I rewind time & make it right ?

I guess not.

I'm starting to really miss people I used to

enjoy being around, but if I start over

would I be able to accept there mistake?

Oh Jesus why can' t I just read minds and

know the future?

Let me be me "/

Tuesday. I skipped Volleyball practice to come home. I need a break. I'm soree ! Yesterday I had Volleyball practice but

we were weightlifting. We had to be

in the spin room until we completed 20

miles and then worked out.

My butt and upperbody are sore ! sheeshhhh.

I have been really happy .

Well, TTFN

4/2/09 9pm -2am ~ Parrtttyy

I had a marvelous night.

It was my friend Sweet 16 & everything was perfect.

I danced all night long. My legs are sore. I love Lauren Quijano

She is the cousin I never had :) She know It !

Well, I really want to go to sleep.

Romeo take me somewhere we could be alone

I have that song stuck in my head. Taylor Swift

is amazing ! I think she is the best country singer ever.

Today . Was good actually. I have nothing spectacular to say.

Peace.

"Don't you know that you yourselves are God's temple and that God's Spirit lives in you?"

1 Corinthians 3:16